A Painful Detention
by rufiel
Summary: In a detention in the dungeons, Harry and Ginny get locked up...with Professor Snape. Interesting outcome.


_A Painful Detention_

by

_rufiel_

_"Harry Potter!"_

_"Yes, Professor Snape?"_

_"Stop that right this instant!"_

_"Stop what?"_

_"Kissing that girl in public! Such display of affection is forbidden at this academy!"_

_"But I've long since stopped, how else could I have talked to you?"_

_"...That does not matter, you _were _kissing her and that is strictly forbidden! You, and whoever that is..."_

_"Oh stop that nonsense Snape, you know very well I'm Ginny Weasley."_

_"..Yes, you and Miss Weasley will be punished! Tomorrow, at 10 AM, you will show up at the dungeon, ready to scrub it all with a toothbrush. Have fun and a nice day to you."_

_"Thanks Professor Snape, I highly value this punishment of yours and could hardly have lived had you not decided to punish me in this way. I love you."_

_"...Potter, if you won't shut up right now I'll take 300 points from Gryffindor and give you a month's detention."_

--

"Potter... Have you anything to do with the fact that I can't get out of this room?"

"What?"

"It appears as if the door is firmly locked, and I can't possibly find a way to open it."

"Have you tried Alo.."

"OF COURSE I'VE TRIED ALOHOMORA! What do you take me for, some Lockhart?"

"Well, judging from your ego at times..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing professer, nothing at all."

--

"What happens if I press this.."

"Miss Weasley, I strongly advice you _not_ to press that.."

_Thousand iggly-wiggly bottles, were hanging upside down on the wall, oh dear me. Then one falls and brakes, BOOM, so left are 999. 999 iggly-wiggly bottles..._

"Great, now it'll never shut up!"

"Not even when it's down to zero?"

"We'll die of boredom long before that, so it doesn't really matter."

--

"Potter? Weasley?"

Silence.

"Potter?"

Silence.

"Weasley?"

Snogging can be heard.

"...I need to puke..."

_878 iggly-wiggly..._

"OH SHUT UP YOU USELESS PIECE OF SOMETHING VERY VERY EVIL!"

--

"Professor Snape?"

Silence.

"Professor Snape?"

Silence.

"Ginny... Have you seen Snape recently?"

"No... I have no idea where he could be."

"Professor Snape?"

Snogging can be heard.

"...Ehm...errr... Ginny?"

"...Deal we never heard that?"

"Deal!"

--

"Potter?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever wondered... what life would be like if you were not a deadly boring egotist?"

"...No, for some very crazy reason I don't think about that a lot."

"...Me neither... I just... Asked..."

"Of course..."

--

"Ginny... What do you like best about me?

"Well... I love it when you hold me like you do now, I feel so good... When you tenderly kiss my forehead... And just... How much love you have to give. And in a strange way I love how stubborn you are, I often get a bit annoyed by it but I never get completely angry."

"Thanks Ginny... You know I think you're great, too."

"I know Harry, I know."

"This moment would've meant a lot more to me if Snape hadn't been puking in the corner while we said this though..."

"I will have to agree with that..."

--

"Harry... What do you like best about me?"

"Professor Snape, no offense, but I hate you."

"I thought so, I thought so..."

--

"Has anyone simply tried knocking on the door?"

"...Miss Weasley, we're locked inside. Not outside. There's noone behind that door."

"I am!"

"What? Who's that? Help us out!"

"Nah, just kidding, it's only Harry. I'm here behind this statue!"

"...Potter, when we get out of here I will take away every single point Gryffindor will earn for the next seven years."

"It's worth it."

_381 iggly-wiggly bottles, were hanging upside down on the wall, oh dear me. Then one falls and brakes, BOOM, so left are..._

"Oh good Merlin, what will make this incredibly stupid painting shut up!"

_"Silencio."_

"...Miss Weasley, since you remembered that spell, why didn't you think of doing that earlier?"

"Noone asked."

--

"Ginny..."

"Yes Harry?"

"Thank you for existing. It's helped me a lot."

"Thank you too Harry... Thank you for all you've done..."

"Thank you."

"I love you Harry..."

"I love you Ginny..."

"I hate you two, shut up."

"Can't you leave us alone for a minute?"

"I don't particularly want any more Potters in the world, so frankly, no."

--

"Potter, Weasley, are you trying to kill me?"

Snogging can be heard.

"Potter... Weasley... If you do not stop this right this instant you will regret it."

Snogging can be heard... in addition to almost-silent moans.

"...Please, show some mercy!"

"Could you leave us alone for a minute?"

"...Fine, you win."

"He's easy."

--

"What time is it?"

"Well... It's five minutes past eleven. We've been here for over a day now, do you think someone's starting to miss us?"

The door opened.

"Well, someone missed us..."

"Missed what, Harry?"

"Nothing Professor Dumbledore, nothing."

"Thank Merlin you're here Dumbledore! These darn kids have been torturing me for the last 25 hours, and if I would have had to stay here with them for five more minutes I would've seriously considered suicide!"

"You must be exaggerating Severus, how could two students torture you for over a day, and I must assume without magic?"

"They kissed."

"Severus, you must accept the fact, that though it has never happened to you, male and female human beings tend to share saliva in a very passionate way."

"...Dumbledore, please, save me from this place so I can go and cry myself to sleep."

"There you go Severus, the doors are open."

"Good-bye."

--

"Professor Dumbledore, sir... Don't you think it was a little bit too much to let Professor Snape go through all this?"

"Not at all Harry, not at all. He recently cheated in a game of wizard's chess against me, and I did not particularly like that. He must learn to face the consequences of his actions."

"Yes professor, I have to admit I had a pretty good time."

"That's good Harry, that's very good indeed. Now, would you like some lemon drops? Delicious, they are..."


End file.
